Race Report: Run For Your Freakn Life 2013


I survived the apocalypse, with all amigos partially intact!  So we went as these guys…
Ninja Turtles

We were turtles, totally ninja, not so much teenage, but I’m pretty sure we all love pizza, and at least one of us knows how to skateboard!

Woke up on race day totally unrested, I didn’t end up getting to bed till about 11pm and didn’t nod off till about 12.  I had so much to organise having the twins spend the day at their nanny’s house, I needed to organise my team, myself and my children.
Awake at 6am first thing I did was open my heavy black-out curtains to assess the weather conditions, bright stream of light beamed in and blinded me, this was a good sign!  But god was it FRESH!  Very very brisk!

Car was packed with shells and a shoe box full of elements to form our costumes, now to do the rounds to pick up my comrades and drop off the children.  Quick stop to fill the Beast with Gas and off to Auckland – a 2.5hour trip with a stop in Ngatea for subway.  A sneak peak of Brad’s DJ’ing work for our road trip tune’age can be viewed over on my Beast Playlist.  We needed amping up!
We arrive at Spookers with just under 2 hours to spare.  We register, get our free stuff and begin preparation on our costumes.  We were lucky to get there when we did because we had so much to do, next time we wont have such a complicated theme ha!  But we were out to win the $1000 best dressed booty!

P1080498 11.05.2013 014 11.05.2013 015 11.05.2013 021 11.05.2013 022Ninja Turtles

Quick Potty stop…

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All kitted out it was time to make our way to the start line.  We ran in the 2nd wave at 2pm, all together there were 4 waves, that is a lot of runners!  So the way it works is that we get a belt with 4 flags hanging from it.  These are our Vigour or Life.  This meant in a team of 4, we had a good chance of getting at least one of us to the end with one flag, we had planned that this would be Marc, the Tough Mudder guy ha!  I said to him, “if we all die, you just have to get your ass to the finish line”!
We made our way to a good space, right next to “Adventure Time”, “Zombie Bait” and StarWars.  We still had 15 minutes till start time, just enough time for our team to let the Star Wars team know that they were cheating having their belt flags on their front and not their backs.
Starting announcement came and we were told that BRUCE, the zombie pictured below on the right would give us 10 secs and then it was Chasing time!
BRUCE the running zombie
The countdown began and before I knew it we were off!  Amy fell twice in the first 10-20 metres, lost one fo her lives, but quickly got to her feet and caught up.  It was less than 250 metres that we encountered our first obstacle.  Hay bales!
Haybails Hay

It was hectic, my team had forged on and I stopped just before the bales because there was so much congestion, I couldn’t find a good spot to get up.  Plus I am short and the bales were almost the height of me hahaha, one spectator guy yelled at me “you have to run and jump”!!  I looked like a right dick turning around backing up to make myself a runway lol  But I did it! And I got cheers from the spectators! haha Getting to the top there were 2 zombies, both swiped me, I was left with 2 lives left, guttered!  Brad fell into a hole which meant some of his straps ripped his shell from his back.  Upon getting out of the hole, he was met with one of the zombies, to which he did a massive Backward roll, something he probably hadn’t done since he was a kid, it saved his life!
I met back up with the team, we re-grouped, assessed our situation, if I re-call correctly, Brad had 3, Marc 4, Amy 3 and I had 2.  URGH!

A few windees of muddy muck, and we approach our first BOG!  It was a mild one, about up to the mid lower leg, not too much to worry about, but there was a zombie to contend with.  Someone had just boosted for it, playing sacrifice for about 10 or so of us, so made a run for it.  This is when I started to turn into tactical mode!  The whole way calling out for Amy, making sure she was close and not stuck anywhere!
We had reached the 1km marker, and my chest was burning!

More muddy track then another Bog, this time waist deep!  God help us!  We were running amongst another team of superheroes, and I got stuck behind one of the chicks from their team, I am not quite sure who she was supposed to be but she was not very confident.  She kept getting stuck and freezing up every time the zombies came close, and then falling over, I pretty much dragged her ass through that entire bog.  She was twice my size!  After re-grouping I over-heard two of their team mates say “we have to stay with the turtles, they’re mean, they saved me”.  In all honesty, I just needed her out of my way, but I am also a GC lol  so I did the right thing, ha!
A bit more of a run through muddy grass and we encounter the spider web.

Now we hadn’t thought out how we were going to face this one, we had torso sized shells on our backs so we had to be aware of our dimensions, luckily I was helping someone who couldn’t figure it out for herself, I told her, “over”, “under”…I don’t really understand how she couldn’t figure it out, but for her help, she allowed me to get through behind her and away from the awaiting zombie haha another sacrifice.  Tactical I tell ya!

Immediately after were the tyres…
Marc had said to Brad just to run along the tops of the tyres, not putting your feet right into them, it worked for me, I was through, heart beating fast, I still had my 2 lives!
More muddy run, dodging a few zombies and then… dun dun dun, the dreaded Electrifying Tunnel.  Amy had a genius Idea while driving up to go through this one with our shells faced toward the stingers.  I think I was the only one that remembered it at this stage, everyone else got stung, I made it through unscathed!  Tactical mode!  At this point I thought I was built for war!

Next the slippery low bearing tunnel!  The blue guy below is supposed to be a smurf lol I think his make-up got a few runs by this stage, maybe he should’ve applied a better foundation haha! *oh the cheese*
was a smurf
Now again the shells proved difficult to manoeuvre through this one.  The trick was to just get real low, pushing through hard digging your toes into the plastic and spidering your way through, 2 zombies, I had zoomed past both super quick right behind Marc.  Regrouped again, Marc was down to 1 flag, Brad 3, Amy 1 and me with 2.
We had met the 2km Marker, no more burning in the chest, I was amped to push on!

A bit more running, crossing through a spectator point, lots of cheers, and again I over-heard “The turtles are so good, we need to stay with them”  at this point Marc found a good place to stash his nun-chucks.  Unfortunatly for him the only ones he could find were real ones, made of wood and chain, at least a couply kg each, positioned on his front belt, which as you could imagine for a guy is kinda dangerous and potentially debilitating.  We couldn’t risk it, he had to stash and then when finishing, he’d go back!
More running and dodging, at this stage I felt like I had been the most agile in all my life lol My side-stepping was right up there with the best of them, and it was saving my bacon!  Turtle Bacon!

Next would come the twin tunnels, pitch black, and you couldn’t really see the end, or if there were zombies.  We stopped for discussion.  Which one should we go down, I said “F*** it, its 50/50, we just need to boost through it and hope for the best”  and that we did.  no zombies, but the worst was to come.  A few shacks and corn fields to get through and we met our match.
The mud Valley of doom!

Mud Valley
Now this pic doesn’t do it justice, but it went for what felt like forever!

But again I got stuck in amongst a team!  The brides! Which I had to help all the way down just to get myself through!  There was so much congestion and I was in line, but apparently ‘lines’ don’t mean anything when there are zombies.

Now these brides didn’t mentally prepare themselves to go to war.  I did so much lifting and holding and boosting up, no wonder my traps/shoulders hurt today!  Now I am not a big strong girl, but I had to get to my team!  At one point I even reached down in the waist deep muddy water to free a brides foot from the grips of the mud.  Urgh!  Being a hero and all…

3km Marker

The Brides…
The brides i saved

BradBuoyant shells were not a good idea!
And the run back…
At this point we were so heavy with mud, literally caked and our shoes were cement!  We had to stomp it out!
About half a km of slippery trail, man did it suck for our ankles!  We were constantly assessing the best route, the less trodden paths, there wasn’t much left that was stable so most of it was a “hope for the best” situation.

More corn field, and then SUPER GIANT DEEP BOG!… With a zombie or 2!

4km Marker

More corn, and stairs to some more death!  Just standing there…waiting for us!

Bridge of doom
A quick single file dodge past these ones and we were down the bridge.

Regroup – Marc 1, Brad 3, Me 2, Amy 1

Then we came sliding to some more doom!
Fun slide
It was fast!

A quick dash to more bales, and Jesus reasoning with a zombie “The power of Christ Compels you!”

The power of christ compels you
Last wee dash toward the finish, and a slide with this guy
bit of a messIt didn’t actually realise he was sliding down right next to me when I flew down…I wondered who’s leg I was holding on to… eek!

All intact, our team regrouped for the last time to cross the finish line.

We were beat, but we could’ve easily banged out another 5km of that madness!
All Mudded up!

It was a cold outdoor shower, and quick sneaky change of clothes and then a 3ish hour drive home.

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Totally recommend this run, especially for a first event.
We finished in 1hour 4secs, but it was more of a challenge than a race.

Plan of attack for next week – 2x 10km Estuary runs and 1x Trail run for Shigs!
Amped to start my training for my 10km event in June!

Make a Beast of yourself!  Gets rid of the pain of being a Man!

Jay 🙂



  1. wow!!! that looks like its a good race… I wish they had something like that here in Aus (they might but I just dont know it) as far as ive seen we only have mud runs and the tough mudder, spartan race but running from zombies… now that’s my thing… will have to consult my boyfriend but maybe that should be my goal… train for this then we both fly ovet to race haha

    1. Funny you say that, there were quite a few Aussie teams that flew over especially for this event! I don’t get too much into the NZ Vs Aus thing lol but you can imagine at this race like any other sport there was some rivalry to be had haha. I think it was great the fact they even made the trip 🙂 come over, get muddy, run for you life! Haha you won’t regret it!

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